Friday, May 6, 2011

Another last

It's 4:31 AM and it's raining again. This is my last night in my apartment. Tomorrow I'm moving out. All those memories will be gone in less than a day. Here I'm sitting in front of my computer...so late...I should have said so early...listening to the rain and the first birds of the day...can't sleep...thinking where memories go when I do not look them...do they disappear...does the universe swallow them...into nothingness...I'm thinking where home is today again...A couple of weeks ago one of my professors asked me "when are you going home?" and I said "now" quite puzzled by the question...she smiled and said "I mean to Turkey"...Oh ( a change of state token) I said...on the 9th of May with a bitter smile on my face...When we were saying goodbyes I said now I should go to my apartment and contemplate on where home is. A couple of days I ago I found my final paper in my mailbox...At the end of her comments about my paper she had written "Have fun this summer! Home is where the heart is, so I think now that Turkey must be your home...
I missed my dear husband very much...Fortunately, I'll be with him in four days...It feels so surreal after 10 months...My heart is with him in Turkey that's for sure.
It is 4:51 and I'm still thinking where home is with a deep heartache in my chest. Leaving this apartment that is full of happy memories with my husband keeps me awake tonight. This is the last night and I do not wish to waste it in sleep but alas I have to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a loooooong day. So time to say goodbye. On that note I want to share this song.
Tomorrow is a new day full of promise and I'm going to see my love very soon. Days will go by like water (a literal translation from Turkish)...4...3...2...1...

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful song, Beril! I miss you very much! You are my home!

    engin

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  2. You are my home too. I will be with you soon.

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